The Fiasco and after…

I am probably the last blogger with his first take on the Satyam fiasco. My reason – it was surreal. And I needed to comprehend what happened, and how. And like I already mentioned, it was hard to believe.

The number 4 IT company in India admitting to financial data manipulation at the highest level despite having one of the ‘Big Four’ as its auditors, is astounding! And that too, someone with just about 3% of the stake in the company doing all this single-handedly? Farfetched. Something like this was possible in the early 20th century. But c’mon guys, this is the 21st century! It’s not as if Raju fudged the attendance records or something – this was a booker prize winning work of fiction.

If his admissions and subsequent reports are to be believed, the entire cash position was cooked up! Year after year. I find it hard to believe that no one else knew about this. I mean c’mon man, are we all to believe that he hired idiots and retards? That the innocent C-level didn’t have a clue about all this for all these years? That a firm like PWC was given the ‘Chinese 5-star factory tour’ and went back all praises? And that for all his efforts, Satyam was awarded the Golden Peacock for corporate governance? Bullcrap!

And disclosures of auditors that say that they attended meetings where the agenda was to cook books. They couldn’t understand what was going on just because the word ‘fudging’ was not used. Hmmm… let me think… get outta here! Either these guys were innocent as angels or they believe we are. And we all know we aren’t!

In my reckoning, this is just the tip of the iceberg. I think it’s just a while before the $hit hits the fan.

Ramalingaraju.com was the second most pathetic work of fiction. I refuse to believe that CEOs and Directors would want to openly declare their solidarity for RR. And that too, in grammar and language that could make the worst of Paki media persons cringe!

That the average Indian does not condone this didn’t come as a surprise to me. Like the protagonist in RGV’s Guru who bribes, cheats, and lies his way to the top, Raju too, is a hero to scores. And like ‘Gurubhai’, Raju also just wanted to do ‘bijnej’. The followers don’t give a fuk if he brings mistrust and disgrace to an industry which is already bearing the brunt of the global recession. All that matters is that they make their money. And that, my friends is the true ‘Indian Dream’!

I was almost admiring the genius of this guy when an interesting observation by Sharma Uncle, Baba’s closest friend made sense, “Yaar iss mei dimaag lagaaney ki koi zaroorat nahi hai. Aisi tuchha-panti toh chotey-motey contractor log barson se kartey aa rahe hain… Mazdoor kam lagao aur zyaada ka paisa mango.” (Translation: This didn’t require brains. This kind of third-class tactics were used by small time contractors from time immemorial… Employ less and show inflated wages.) This was no high-class fraud, this was just cheap and down-market! Sure, the scale was huge… but the scheme was pathetic. I expected better class out of the illustrious Satyam C-level, but what they’ve done wouldn’t even impress a pickpocket. The petty thief from his adjacent cell will own him anyday!

Now I wait for the day that Raju turns a politician. Well, that’s the only place he can find sympathizers. And that’s the ultimate glory that any petty criminal can hope for…