Monday, March 17, 2008

Masti ki paathsaala…

I used to think that kids these days aren’t having as much fun as we did… We had more space, ‘real’ playgrounds, friends, trees and stuff. I used to think that we are witnessing a new generation of kids whose hands need to be held at every step, who require guidance at every stage, who are on cellular leashes.

I used to think that the dictum of ‘Mata, Pita, Guru, Daivam’ [which, in Sanskrit is the hierarchy of divinity (meaning Mother, Father, Teacher, God)] still holds true.

I used to think wrong! Go through the links below and tell me what YOU think…

Hilarious one here
L for lawyer!
Art for beginners
Eddie Griffin’s thoughts

And till I read Eddie Griffin’s blog, I’d never of concepts like Dropout Prevention sessions, ODD (Oppositional Disruptive Disorder) and stuff like that!

Can you tell me where we’re headed?

*Picture courtesy*

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

The search continues…

I started writing this as a reply to Sue’s comment to allow Female Gods in ‘our’ outfit. Got too long and I thought I might as well post it. Let me start by setting the context right here…

The search for a new, parochial, God-figure started in response to violence in many parts of the country against people from ‘other’ regions. These people who want total rights over ‘their’ land come from a certain school of political thought – I, Me, and Myself. So, please keep that in mind.

I’ve been consulting for some time now, and the one thing that I’ve learnt is that unless your solution, product, or service meets the end user requirements, it is a disaster. However, the end user doesn’t have control over what is bought. A salesman sells a product to the CXOs, CFOs, COOs of the world, who in all probability do not use the solution in the first place. That puts your brand image at stake, because the users start complaining after a while… Therefore a good solution, in addition to making ‘business sense’ to the top bosses (read massaging their ego), should also be appealing to the masses. That is consulting!

I shall examine the situation for you. This, of-course, should have been a PowerPoint presentation, but no one’s interested in seeing them (what’s new?). So I give you the gist of it here.

Vision (Propaganda)
Revenues (Party Collections)
Investor Relations (Vote Bank)
Shareholder Value (Advantages for the rank and file)
Market Share (Actual number of seats)

End User
Ease (Will I ‘have’ to work?)
Appeal (How will I be identified as a part of this outfit?)
Productivity gain (How many people out of 10 will (or can be forced to) contribute?)
Earnings (And how much can I siphon off?)
Growth (How fast can I move to the next level? Is there another ‘group’ we can target?)

An altruistic solution WILL NOT help. No one’s buying that and we’re not here for charity. A leftist approach too, is out of the question. The top bosses do not (secretly) endorse the concept of equality. We are, therefore left with a concept of a right-winged outfit that deludes you into believing that it is participative. The righter, the better.

Now that we have identified the target audiences, we need to offer a solution. So, put on your thinking caps and give me options. If you think they are a bit long, e-mail them to me. I’ll compile them for another post and shall acknowledge your contribution. Who knows? You may even qualify for the top job if you can spew enough venom! And I am open to Gods, Goddesses and beyond.

And remember – Right is right.