Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Afterlife...

About four years ago, when I announced that I was going to get married, my friends were very sympathetic… They told me, “Buddy, you’re dead!” Going by those words, I’m already in my afterlife, and I’m enjoying every moment of it! I wouldn’t have had it any other way… I have a beautiful, supportive, and intelligent wife, who’s adapted very well with the lifestyle change that marriage to someone like me would have warranted. And keeping my side of the bargain, I’ve been ‘domesticated’ enough to start living in a home. I still have a long way to go and I’ll get there… someday…

But what prompted me to write about marriage is this. Chiranjeevi’s daughter, Srija, elopes with her boyfriend of four years and seeks police protection from her family! Now the only reservation that the family could have had was the criminal history of their new son-in-law. But the 19-year old has managed to turn it into a media circus, what with the event being covered live and later, sitting in for a call-in program on national television answering questions and basking in congratulatory messages from equally juvenile callers.

The only thing that comes to my mind is that the constitution should be revised to not allow anyone with an IQ score lower than 90 to get married. With that, we will not have a dumb kid, taking the pants off her family on national television… ever! Sirish Braradwaj, you are a dead man! This man has bit off more than he can chew, and his afterlife don’t look good to me L Come on! This guy knew her for four freakin’ years! No prizes for what’s going to happen within the next four years…

The reason I mentioned IQ, was because it’s easier to measure than intellectual maturity. Some people mature fast, some normally and some don’t. My younger sister was intellectually mature when she was 10! I reached there sometime when I was 25. Let me try and put this in perspective here. Answer the following question:

You are in the final year of college. On your birthday, your father promised to buy to a PlayStation 3. He buys you a computer instead. What do you do?
a) Accept the gift graciously. Afterall, you can still play games on it :)
b) Cry and throw a tantrum till dad buys you the PlayStation.
c) Go postal and break the computer. You wanted a PlayStation, for cryin’ out loud!
d) Get the message that your dad wants you to study, not play around. Top your class.

Now compare your answer:
a) 5 points. You have the maturity of ‘The Walker’. Keep Walking :)
b) 0 points. You are as mature as Srija or Karunanidhi. See a Psychiatrist.
c) –15 points. You are comparable to Ted Bundy or Osama. Shooot yourself!
d) 10 points. You are intellectually on par with my younger sis. Apply for Mensa.

See what I mean. So, for all you guys, please come back here and take this test when you are required to take an ‘intellectually mature’ decision. Needless to say, you need to score 5 or 10. If you do score well, you can expect a reasonably good life in your afterlife.


Anju said...

I agree Walker. Stupid people shouldn't get married. I have seen many a juvenile marriages break-up after as short a period as months! The excitement is gone... Maturity is essential to maintain a relationship.

You think the world of your sister. She's lucky to have a brother like you :)

Shahnaz said...

Good one, Walker. A 5 on the quiz and I'm happy! Will I get a certificate? LOL

sue said...

The criminal history of the son-in-law was the last objection put up by this high-profile, hypocritical family....The main objections were caste and economic disparity between the bride's and groom's family.

Coming from a Telugu family myself, I can pretty much understand what went on. I agree that she was too young and maybe the whole media thing was going overboard. But I am giving this kid the benefit of the doubt and do somehow admire her courage to go against the whole world for love. I have heard, from family friends of the bride that Chiru had a huge hand in breaking Srija's older sister's marraige too and I guess she didn't want a similar fate.

I am not on anyone's side but I don't think I can comment correctly on her IQ level or maturity, being the peripheral spectator that I am. No one will never know what exactly went on in that house before she decided to run.

But its nice to see you write about your wife and sister...It's makes me happy to see how much the new-generation men respect and love their women.

The Walker said...

@ Anju: I agree with you too :) And yes, I do think the world of her. She should decide whether she's lucky :P

@ Shahnaz: We finally agree. And I certify you "sane enough to Keep Walking"

@ Sue: I appreciate your POV, Sue. But one thing I've learnt from my life is that your parents always act with YOUR best interests in mind. I was mortified when Srija went on live national TV and made a joke of her family. And that to me, is unacceptable. The one I pity here is the guy... He's got an extremely juvenile girl, for sure!

The IQ rule is a favorite with me. I recommend that for most day-to-day activities like riding the elevator, or for crossing the raod. The imbeciles, have a knack of doing just what's not supposed to be done. More on that later...

My wife, mom, and sisters are my world! I'd be nowhere without them. I guess thay deserve the respect for just putting up with me :)


sue said...

Can't wait for further explanation of that IQ thoery you have lol

Chandu said...

"Buddy, you’re dead!"

Does it make much difference when it is not your friends, but your wife to be who keeps telling you that?

I'm just nervous!

The Walker said...

@ Chandu: Buddy, you're dead! I'm sorry, but that sounds pretty threatening to me :( I suggest you retreat to the Himalayas for the rest of your days... I have a friend who's there currently (but for different reasons) so, let me know if you want him to scout a spot for you... I'm curious - what did you do or say (if applicable)?

But then, I'm not (and no one ever will be) an expert on understanding communication from the female Homosapien species. If I were you, I'd keep my fingers (taped) cross :)

In the meantime, will some of the ladies here help this scared soul?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Walker said...

Oops, Anonymous, I'm sorry :(

I really don't like you likening people to yo mama! And what you have to say 'bout yo mama is your f***in problem. Next time, leave your name and number and we may have a chat. How does that sound, bitch?

And when you talk about people with low IQ (like yo mama), what were you thinkin? Didn't you know that the author can delete comments? Get a life, bitch!