Thursday, October 11, 2007

National Shame?

It always comes back to this. The Indian cricket team lost today at Baroda... extremely, extremely, shamefully! I was expecting this, to be honest after the T20 hysteria. We are like this only...

However, what got to me early, were the commentators on DD National. They had invited a dumb-looking 'expert' commentator, who was going on and on about how India is sure to make 350 plus on this dream batsman's pitch. He opined that this was the sort of pitch that bowlers had nightmares about (or something like that). I was as usual, running around trying to finish my morning chores and get to work, so the volume was turned up and I could hear him being egged on by two equally insipid hosts who thought he was the cat's whiskers...

After the toss, this dude seemed to be on the seventh heaven and suggested that it was a sign from above! Well, it didn't take him too long to change his views. Within a few minutes (a few wickets later), he went on to say that this is the 'perfect bowler's pitch and that the batsmen were sure to face hell. The equally asinine co-commentator agreed only too enthusiastically! I was getting extremely amused by this chap! Alas, I valued my job more and that overcame my need for 'morbid amusement'.

I later heard that we were bundled out for 148! I thought to myself, hmm... that dude could've been right. The next I heard was that the OZs beat us pants down, with 9 wickets and about 25 more overs to spare! I thought to myself again, hmm... that dude could still have been right. Now that's what I call an opinion for all occasions! Attaboy!! He should've been in politics... Kumaraswamy seems to be the only 'true blue' politician who has the courage to go back on his words and keep the tradition alive... (Post Nayanar, but of course)

Rather than having such morons on air commentating, we should have them in the team. They would at-least (serve as 'nazar-tattoos?' and) help to ward off the evil eye on our team... The least that these types do are to act like a bad omen. Mandira Bedi did that to the Men in Blue during WC 2003. At least have good-looking people for Chrissakes!

But you got to give credit to our boys as well... We shine where there's no light. Our batsmen create perfect bowling wickets, and our bowlers make the ultimate batting wickets out of nowhere!

No wonder, there are some people (like me) who feel quite strongly about it. Hell who wouldn't? Out of about a dozen countries that play the game, can't we still be the best? All our sponsorships in sports are directed there! So, what do people like me do? We 'adapt' or 'internalize' jokes to suit the need of the hour! Here's one:

A primary teacher explains to her class that she is a fan of the Indian cricket team. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are fans of the Indian cricket team. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little boy. (Obviously Chhottu)
The teacher looks at Chhottu with surprise and says, "Chhottu, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a fan of the Indian cricket team," he replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a fan of the Indian cricket team, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am a fan of the Australian cricket team, and proud of it," he replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Chhottu, why, pray tell, are you a a fan of the Australian cricket team?"
"Because my mum and my dad are OZ cricket fans, so I'm a fan of the Australian cricket team too!"
"Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a OZ cricket fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time... What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?"

"Then," said Chhottu, "I'd be a fan of the Indian cricket team."

Now, that's a boy who's bound to Keep Walking :)


Tarun said...

I agree... These days I watch on mute :(

Anju said...

Is this the 'End of the begining' or the 'Begining of the end'? I'm confused.

Good post BTW :)

Shahnaz said...

This, I agree with... BTW, Walker, Are you always cynical and pessimistic?

Anonymous said...