Ancient, Orthodox, Walker...

I sometimes wonder if I belong to a different time and age… And it’s not just my creaking bones that make me wonder that. There are a lot of things around me that continue to reinforce my belief. Let’s take fashion, for instance…

I identify with a school of thought where women look like women and men look like men. Flip through any fashion channel or magazine now, and all you will find is women with the structure of underfed pre-teen boys and men, like they’ve just been let off a concentration camp. And they both look like they’ve lost the will to live. Seriously! Is that what passes off as sex appeal these days?

And why would any legally sane person EVER want to be a size zero? What does that mean anyways? To the best of my reasoning, it could mean the size of the wearer’s brain! Why would anyone actually pay money to look anorexic? And what kind of demented folks prefer such people? Or has mutation given the new generation some kind of convex vision? Or worse – has age given me concave vision?

Whatever be the reason, there goes my dreams of becoming a supermodel! Not that it will, in anyway, come in the way of my world-domination ambitions by becoming a God-man, but still… We all like a little fan following, don’t we?

But there are still a few things that, in my mind are divided by gender. I hope this table illustrates two categories of what (most people in) my generation identify with the sexes…

Category	Item/s	Gender
Cosmetics	All cosmetics	Feminine
	After shave, Cologne, Vaseline, Talcum powder	Masculine
	Lipstick, Foundation, Rouge…	NOT Masculine
Clothing	Skirts, blouses, tank-tops, things, saris, capris, hot pants, gowns, dresses…	Feminine (Actually women look good in anything)
	Pants, shirts, tees, jeans, kurtas	Masculine (refer above too)

Men should realize that UNLIKE women, they WILL look funny wearing anything out of the above table (let’s keep regional preferences like dhotis, loincloths, etc. out of this). And that there is a fine line that divides the metrosexuals from the effeminate. I am not homophobic, but the trend of men doing their eyebrows and stuff unsettles me… And so do men or women with a lack of personal hygiene… I hope I’m making sense to you, because sometimes, I can’t understand myself. Especially in such cases. I try and simplify it to myself by saying that a Man should look like a Man and a Woman should look like a Woman.

And yes, what started this was the sight of a guy in a car, doing make-up in the morning traffic of Mumbai. Honestly, I failed to decide then – which was more pathetic.